Are You Afraid of Success?

Did anybody else read this in the same voice as “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” …No? Just me? Okay, I’m aging myself…but on a more serious note:

When was the last time you set a goal, started off on the right track, but found yourself in the same place months later?

For me, it’s been my coaching business journey over the last several months. I left corporate, went all in, and started building my practice. I was passionate, making what I thought was good progress, but something just wasn’t clicking when it came to growing my client base the way I envisioned.

The reality? It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to market myself or connect with potential clients. I spent most of my corporate global career in sales and on the commercial side, so connecting with others has never been the issue. It took some reflection, but I realized that deep down, I believed that gaining more clients would come at a cost—more hustle, more stress, and less time for everything I love outside of work. It felt like a catch-22. I wanted growth, but I feared what success might demand from me.

So, why wasn’t I pushing harder to attract new clients? Honestly, I was scared. Scared that achieving my vision for my business might bring me back into the grind I left behind. The deeper fear? That I wouldn’t be able to balance it all—business growth, freedom, and the lifestyle I worked hard to create.

Here’s my lightbulb moment: I had conflicting desires. I wanted a thriving coaching practice, but I didn’t want to sacrifice the freedom and flexibility that mattered to me. Just like how I resisted making key changes in my business, fearing they might disrupt the balance I worked hard to create, I realized I was holding back for the same reason—unwilling to risk losing what I enjoy.

But then I had a shift: What if growing my business could actually increase my freedom? By taking on more clients, I could build the financial stability and flexibility to shape my ideal lifestyle. It’s not about choosing one or the other, it’s about finding a way to make them work together.

That’s where many of us get stuck: conflicting desires. We set big goals—whether it’s fitness, career, relationships—but there’s often a part of us that resists change. I thought that reaching my business goals would require a big shift in my lifestyle, but in reality, small, manageable tweaks could get me where I want to go without sacrificing the things I enjoy.

Now, let’s turn the focus to you. What big goals have you set in the past six months that you haven’t achieved yet? And more importantly, why not?

The common culprit is often self-sabotage. We have a vision or goal we believe in wholeheartedly, yet something deep within us—our subconscious—holds us back.

Identifying Self-Sabotage and Conflicting Beliefs

The first step to overcoming self-sabotage is asking yourself, “What part of me doesn’t want this goal to happen?” It might seem counterintuitive, but often there’s an underlying fear keeping us stuck. Maybe you fear added pressure or responsibility. Maybe it’s the fear of judgment, losing freedom, or making a mistake. These fears are normal, but they can keep us from moving forward.

To address this, try to pinpoint the specific belief holding you back. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you achieved your goal? Often, these fears are less realistic than we think. When we face them head-on, we can start dismantling their power.

Reframing the Fear of Success

Once you uncover your conflicting beliefs, it’s crucial to understand how they connect to your fear of success. This fear stems from the idea that achieving your dreams might upend your life in ways you’re not prepared for. Often, it’s not failure we fear, but what success might demand.

For instance, getting a promotion might bring higher visibility and expectations, making you feel like you constantly need to prove yourself. In relationships, stepping into a more authentic version of yourself might mean letting go of certain connections. These shifts can be intimidating but are necessary for growth.

The key is to reframe these fears and see them as areas of growth. Ask yourself, “What’s one small step I can take toward my goal, even in the face of these fears?”

Small Steps Create Big Change

Much like my realization that growing my business didn’t require a massive lifestyle overhaul, personal development often follows the same principle. It’s not about making one giant leap but about taking small, consistent steps. Align your actions with your goals, shed your fears, and focus on what you can control. Sustainable change happens gradually, and this makes the process much more manageable—and much less intimidating.

You don’t need to conquer everything at once. Sometimes the best way to tackle self-sabotage is to start small. Whether it’s a career shift, improving relationships, or enhancing your well-being, sustainable growth comes from incremental adjustments—just like how small mindset shifts helped me realize I didn’t have to give up the aspects of my life I cherish.

Take Action, One Step at a Time

Once you identify your fears and conflicting beliefs, the final step is simple: take action. No matter how small the step, it’s progress in the right direction. By breaking down your goal into manageable pieces and aligning your actions with your vision, you create a path for sustainable success. You’ll stop self-sabotaging and start moving toward the life you want.

At the end of the day, personal growth isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence. It’s about facing what’s holding you back and making the necessary adjustments to move forward. Sustainable success isn’t built overnight, but by tackling self-sabotage, you clear the internal obstacles in your way and make real progress, one step at a time.

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. Sometimes, uncovering deep-seated fears and conflicting beliefs requires an outside perspective. This is where working with a coach can make all the difference.

Together, we’ll identify what’s holding you back and create a clear path forward—one that aligns with your values, passions, and vision for your life. With personalized support and accountability, you’ll build sustainable habits that lead to real, lasting change.

Let’s take that first step together. Reach out, and we’ll explore how coaching can unlock new possibilities for your life and career, creating the future you truly deserve.

-Stephanie