The Hidden Cost of Doing It All

As high achievers, we pride ourselves on multitasking, overcommitting, and being the go-to person when something needs to get done. We like feeling needed and important because this is how we see ourselves as valuable. We’re the ones who take action, make things happen, and get sh*t done.

Being the reliable one—the person with the answers or the connections to find them—has served us well. It’s brought job opportunities, promotions, salary increases, and access to a vast network. But let’s pause for a moment: what has this approach cost you?

Maybe you’ve noticed the toll it’s taken on your physical or mental health. Perhaps your relationships feel strained, or you’ve lost touch with what truly matters to you. While you’re busy managing everyone else’s priorities, your own have fallen by the wayside. You might even feel unsure of what they are anymore.

Here’s the truth: your priorities are still there, waiting to be uncovered and nurtured. They haven’t disappeared—they’ve just been buried under the endless cycle of doing it all.

For me, this constant pressure led to overwhelm and frustration. My mind was always racing, leaping from one task to the next, leaving no room for rest or reflection. I was perpetually exhausted but couldn’t figure out how to slow down. Over time, the stress began showing up in my body; through weight gain, digestive issues, and a persistent feeling of unease. Relationships also suffered. I couldn’t be fully present with the people I cared about because my mind was always ten steps ahead, juggling responsibilities or planning my next move. Despite staying busy, I felt disconnected—from my loved ones and, most importantly, from myself.

If any of this resonates, you’re not alone. This cycle is incredibly common among high achievers. The truth is, staying perpetually busy often masks a deeper problem: you’re avoiding the uncomfortable process of figuring out what truly matters to you.

Reflecting on What Really Matters: Your Core Values

One of the most effective ways to begin breaking free from this cycle is to reconnect with your values—the things that truly matter to you at a core level. When we lose touch with our values, we become disconnected from our authentic selves, and the result is often burnout, frustration, and confusion about what we actually want in life.

But how do you identify your core values when they’ve been overshadowed by the demands of constantly "doing it all"?

Start by noticing your emotional reactions—both negative and positive. When you feel frustration, anger, or sadness, take a moment to reflect on what’s at the heart of those feelings. Negative reactions often signal that a value has been violated. For example, if you get frustrated when someone dismisses your ideas, it might point to a value of respect or acknowledgment. If dishonesty makes you angry, that might highlight the value of integrity.

On the flip side, when you experience moments of true joy or fulfillment, observe what’s happening in those moments. For instance, do you feel energized when you help others grow? This could indicate a value of growth or service. Does spending time with loved ones bring you deep satisfaction? That might reflect a value of connection. These moments of joy are clues to your core values and what truly lights you up.

Finally, if you feel stuck and unsure of what matters to you anymore, look for what’s missing. Often, values are revealed when we notice what’s absent in our lives. If you’re feeling unfulfilled, ask yourself, What do I need more of? Is it freedom, creativity, authenticity, or something else? Identifying what’s missing can be as powerful as recognizing what you’re already living.

Bringing It All Together: Aligning Actions With Values

Once you’ve identified your core values, the next step is to evaluate how well your current commitments and actions align with them. Are your daily choices supporting the things that matter most to you, or are they leaving you drained and disconnected?

Reconnecting with your values isn’t about abandoning your ambition or drive. It’s about redefining success—balancing achievement with alignment, productivity with peace, and action with intention. It’s about showing up for yourself just as much as you show up for others.

The first step toward this transformation is awareness—awareness of what’s been costing you, awareness of what truly matters to you, and awareness of how you can begin to realign your life to reflect your values. Once you gain clarity, you can start creating space for a life that feels more fulfilling and aligned with your deepest desires.

If you’re ready to explore how reconnecting with your values can help you redefine your success and find balance, let’s talk! You can book a free consultation call or send me an email at steph@stephaniekardos.com. I’d love to help you get clear on your next steps and start building a life that truly aligns with who you are and what you want.