Freedom from Yourself

The mind is a powerful thing. It can be your best friend or your greatest enemy. It can be honed like a tool, which can then be wielded for you or against you.

How often do you hear that voice in your head, questioning if you’re good enough? If you’re worthy and deserving? How often do you allow this voice to control you; your feelings, your actions, and/or your decisions? Whether out of fear, doubt, or shame?

How often do you challenge that voice right back? Do you consider other perspectives outside of that nasty voice in your head? Or do you accept everything it says as true?

How would you feel if you heard someone saying such things to your best friend, partner, parent, or sibling? Would you stand right there and say nothing, believing everything that person said to be true? Or would you stand up for your loved one and tell that bully all the ways that they were wrong?

You probably see where I’m going with this…

If you’d stand up for someone else, why wouldn’t you do the same for yourself?

This is very difficult to do, though, without first having the awareness and recognition about this voice in your head and why it is there. When did these thoughts first come up, and what were they protecting you from at the time? Are they still protecting and serving you today, or are these thoughts now doing more harm than good? Would it benefit you to keep this way of thinking, or would it benefit you more to let it go?

As someone who has long been a perfectionist and high achiever in all aspects of her life, I’ve had to do a lot of digging within myself to even scratch the surface of these thoughts and how they’ve shaped who I am. I’ve had to do even more work to bust through them and see the positive changes that could come into my life when I’m willing to face my fears and what’s holding me back. Once I had the awareness about this voice and even gave it a name (“Cruella,” for those who’d like to know – yes, I was a huge fan of 101 Dalmations as a child ☺️), I was able to see this voice for what it was; a voice that was protecting me from different versions of shame (failure, being judged, not being enough…) in the only way it knew how. Am I going to tell you that from there, it was easy and that my life is “perfect” now? Absolutely not. It took many months of working with a coach to get through that surface, and now, about 3 years later, I still hear this voice on a daily basis. The difference now, though, is that I am able to recognize it and view it as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness, and then I am able to make a conscious choice of what I believe and how I want to use that information to move forward.

What if I told you that this voice is only a small part of who you are, not your entire being? Just as your ears or hands are a part of who you are, so is this voice. Unlike your ears or hands, though, this nasty voice is something that can be changed over time (without a costly surgery), if you’re willing to put in the work.

This voice in your head is more commonly referred to as imposter syndrome, and it's totally normal to experience it, with some studies showing as high as 82% of the population being affected. Some tell-tale signs are being a perfectionist or over-achiever, having a fear of being exposed, continuous self-doubt or lack of confidence, having a fear of failure, and/or undervaluing your own contributions. Some people experience these feelings over a particular situation, while others experience it on a regular basis. When experiencing it on a regular basis, though, a person is most likely to be unsatisfied in many aspects of their lives, and it could even lead to (or be a part of) anxiety and/or depression.

If you're experiencing this and are ready to take the first step toward turning that voice into a positive force in your life, book a free alignment call to see how I can support you and your goals.

-Stephanie